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Confessions of a Thinkaholic

Thinking…

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Love Hangover

I was drunk with love for You
Stink with it
It oozed from my pores
And covered me in such a sheen
That people said I have a glow
I glowed…for You

But this morning I awoke
I was sober
Along with sobriety came the Love Hangover
Making me sick
I fell to my knees and bruised them on the way
I slumped against the wall
Too weak to stand
I wanted to retch but nothing came

I remembered that what I need to purge is embedded in my mind and burrowed in my heart
And that’s when the tears fell
Hundreds of tears
Bitter and salty
I tasted some and wiped away others
I needed something to do with my hands
Before they betrayed me
Before they found their way to the keypad
To dial your number
To ask You to console and love me
Before they could text You, “Come Over.”

But I willed myself to be still
To remember this feeling
My eyes are dry and now
I am sober
No more heartache
From this Love Hangover

You

His voice is ripe with derision.

“It’s not me,” he insists.

“It’s you, You. YOU!”

You don’t make me smile.

You make me unhappy.

You made me cheat.

You made me leave.

You made me hate you.

You, you, you…

Your words precise with scorn,

And I am shamed.

I am stunned.

I am scorned.

I am nothing without you…

Resignation

Consumed by the weight of time,
Nothing consoles me.
The sound of the clock ticking off seconds,
Sounds harsh and accusatory to my ears.
Is this punishment for some past, heinous crime that I committed under the influence of you?
It burns me to know that I settled for you,
And look what you’ve done!
You’ve trapped me here in this space called nowhere.
You intend to do nothing to help me escape,
Strangely, the fault is all mine…

Trial…

I am the accused.

Tried, convicted, hung without fair representation.

The facts of this case remain unclear.

The closing arguments remain clouded by jealousy.

The evidence remains to be seen.

A jury of my peers are nowhere to be found.

The judge presiding over my case is you.

Need I say more?

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