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Confessions of a Thinkaholic

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February 2011

To all my Single Ladies

One day last week while I was working diligently into the evening hours, Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies” blasted from my little speakers. She sings “If he liked it then he should’ve put a ring on it.” Of course I’ve heard the song a gazillion times but for some reason that night I gave those words some thought.

If he liked it then he should have put a ring on it…

I’m transported back to 9th grade and truth tables for a moment. P → Q If p is true then so is q. So now I apply this to real life. I tell my coworker, “They all tell me they like it but still no ring.” I’m perplexed. LOL. It is true that they like it but I suppose that I should take a few things into consideration: How much does he have to like it? (Fellas, what scale do you use to rate how much you like it?); How many times does he have to like it? (Upon realizing he likes it, I suppose he has to continue liking it in order to want to keep it for a really long time but what’s the magic number? LOL); lastly and closely related to the previous question – How long does he have to like it? (Is there a time frame where he says to himself “It’s been 2 years. It’s time to put a ring on it!”) I’m not sure if you have to have the time, length and quality or just one or two will suffice. My coworker and I did a very quick, non-scientific study that resulted in some statistical data that was skewed at the time this happened. We asked our custodian these three questions and of course he laughed at us and told us that he doesn’t believe in marriage and although he’s been with his girlfriend for like 7 years now, marriage has never entered the equation. We wondered about the girlfriend…doesn’t she want to get married? He laughed and explained, “She’s not ready.” Hmmm, is that right? Well I guess the search for answers continue for all the legally Single Ladies. I encourage you all to conduct your own surveys and get back to me LOL. I need to get down to the bottom of this!

P.S. After his mini interrogation, the custodian informed me that my problem is that I listen to too much Beyoncé LOL☺☺. Darn it! Beyoncé, to the recycle bin you go LOL!!!!

5

Sleepless in Brooklyn…

Sleepless in Brooklyn doesn’t sound as “sexy” as being “Sleepless in Seattle” but we end up doing the same things wherever we are being sleepless. All attempts to go back to sleep have been futile of course. Struggling still with my “thinkaholic” diagnosis is most challenging on sleepless nights such as this one. There are too many things for me to mull over and too many things for me to do when I wake up in the middle of the night. I get on my crackberry and start “bbming” my fellow crackberry owners as we are united in our sleeplessness. I go online and watch youtube videos about everything under the sun and now I’ve come back to my first love – writing. I churn out my best work when I’ve been asleep for two hours and have to wake up in three. The pressure to go back to sleep forces me to put out something really good for the masses and then when it’s finally out I feel so relieved. It’s almost like giving birth, just a shorter, cleaner, inanimate version LOL. Anyway, I really must go back to the task that I was pursuing prior to writing this pointless blog about me and my sleepless nights. I shall work harder than ever before, with a renewed vision of me sleeping peacefully like a baby with no cares in the world J

2

Untitled

Your gaze once filled with adoration and love now sears me with scorn.
When you grab me, your fist is a very real lump at my throat.
I don’t know what to say.
You speak, but I cannot make out your words.
I am more concerned with the grimace your mouth has rearranged itself into.
And your lips actually tremble with barely contained anger.
I am not afraid of you, of your rage.
I am only afraid that I will still love you after you are done.

1

Waiting…

Why is it that we’re always waiting for something? How many clichés do we have to hear about Father Time and time being of the essence before we actually pay attention that it’s true? But time is not the only thing that waits for no one. That “friend” that has a crush on you isn’t waiting either. You know the friend I’m talking about – the one who’s smart, funny, tall, kind, chivalrous and down to earth. There’s a reason why he’s not your Man but what is it? We’re waiting. For what? Oh, just choose from any number of the million reasons we have. Maybe he lives far away, or perhaps he has a lot of female friends and who wants to deal with that? Maybe we have a boyfriend who really doesn’t treat us right but we’re still holding on to him (weird, I know) and our friend is the one we turn to and talk about our guy problems. Maybe we’re waiting for “Mr. Perfect” but he’s late in arriving. Meanwhile our friend is always there. He’s the shoulder to lean on, he’s the dinner date when no one else wants to go, and he’s the one you call when you can’t sleep. He’s such a FRIEND that you can’t fathom him being your man…until he finds a woman and is no longer on the market. That’s when you have your moment of clarity. You thought he’d always be there but now he’s found someone and you realize that maybe, just maybe you missed out on a chance because you were waiting…

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